Back 2 Life, Back 2 Soroti

I had the pleasure of once again heading back to Soroti, for some brief discussions with a few of the community members I’ll be working with, and to handle some legal stuff (boring!). This time, however, I just went for the day, which makes for quite a long one! It’s about 7 hours of driving, or about the distance between Halifax and Sackville (New Brunswick), but in the time it takes to drive from Halifax to Charlottetown, each way. It’s doable, but I’m always thankful it’s not me behind the wheel!

Anyway, this trip in particular was a bit crazier than usual. As we made the turn past Iganga headed towards Mbale, we were greeted with a sign that the road would be diverted ahead, but gave no reason as to why. We didn’t think much of it, and when we say where we “needed” to turn off, we just went with it, unquestioningly.

This photo doesn’t quite do how beautiful it was justice, mostly because of
the sun. But no sooner had I taken this shot when the roads began to... well, end. 

At first, we thought, this is actually a pretty good road! But as we drove on, we encountered more than a handful of places where the road had been completely washed out... which you might think would present quite a bit of a problem and make you question why this was the diversion road, but my Ugandan driver just went with it, causing me to both laugh and fear for my life, on a number of occasions. Regretfully, I didn’t think to take any pictures, as I was more concerned with the fact that we were going to be late (ha!) for our 10am meeting, and not toppling over. The diversion took us an extra half an hour, and only placed us maybe a kilometre or two up the road, so we had quite a bit of distance to make up for.

But as we drop from Jinja to Soroti, it was refreshing to see so much green. The last time I had been was the beginning of February, and things on the Jinja side were starting to liven up. This was not so much the case in Soroti. Thankfully, however, the rainy season is slowly coming in to full swing in the district.

Above: green landscapes between Jinja and Iganga.
Below: Things are slowly coming to life in Gweri, Soroti!

After meeting with the community members, I had the pleasure of meeting a delightful new friend, which caused quite a stir for those who were witness. Throughout the discussions, I was quite quiet, focused more on hearing what those who joined me had to say. But, as soon as I layed eyes on this little one, I broke out of my shy shell and began quite the conversation! And he(?) was a talker!

It was love at first sight! I named it bacon.
Unfortunately, this love was unrequited. 

Once the day’s goals were accomplished, it was back to Jinja. As we approached the diversion point, we nervously awaited visual of whether or not we’d have to pass the same route. This was when we really started laughing to ourselves. It turned out, we took the wrong route. If we had just kept going, where we came out this time around, we could see where we turned in to our left. No washed out roads. No lengthy drive to get no further ahead. Ah boy...

And, just like the previous trip, as we approached Mbale, we were greeted with rain, just in time to see Mt. Elgon poke it’s weary head from underneath the clouds.

Raindrops! Which removed much of the dirt we accumulated earlier in the trip!

The real win of this drive, however, was capturing what I have been known to call “the creepy trees”. While they don’t look so creepy in the pictures below, I can assure you early in the morning, with the sun just edging through each trunk and coming from the other direction - they look mighty unnerving, for this little Orange Canadian!

Again, it probably doesn’t look super creepy, it might need to be one of those you have to 

see it for yourself thingies, but it is what it is. Happy I was finally able to somewhat capture it. 

And with that, my phone battery died, and I enjoyed the rest of the drive, thankful that I, once again, was not behind the wheel.

-the Orange Canadian

Got a new gig…ish

I frequently field questions about what, exactly, I’m doing in Uganda. This usually prompts me to respond with something non-committal, or unserious. My go-to has been either good question or just hanging out. And, while both are kind of accurate, there’s actually been a lot more to it than that. 

If you were to check my LinkedIn profile, it would tell you that my most recent job has been as a freelance writer for a website called UpWork, which is actually how I’ve been able to live sans “real job” for the enormous salary of US$30/per week, if that. But it’s something and it for the most part it’s been interesting.

BUT, that’s not what has actually brought me back to Uganda…twice. The truth is, since December of 2015 I’ve been plotting out, what I thought was a silly idea, which has now transitioned into something very real – setting up the Youth in Agriculture Initiative.

The Youth in Agriculture Initiative is a not-for-profit aimed at providing youth from some of the most vulnerable households in Eastern Uganda with agricultural technical training and basic business skills. This training will be implemented each year over a 12-month period, with each cohort consisting of 20 youth, and provide successful participants with the skillset they need to set up a sustainable farming operation, while curbing the incidence of food insecurity at the same time. Check out our website (link can be found above) and social media to learn more (and see some awesome pictures that prove just how incredibly beautiful this place is!).

If you had asked me two years ago where I thought I’d be after I graduated from my Masters, or even from Acadia, this would not necessarily have been it. But, given the path that brought me here, it makes perfect sense. I’m super excited to finally be at a point where I can announce this project to the world, because it’s been frustrating (and surely will continue to be!), with several moments over the last 6 months in particular where I questioned whether or not this plan was worth it.

There is still a long way to go (we’ve only been registered as a business, but are still on the long road to NGO status and we aren’t set to start the first cohort until 2018), but I think it’s worth the effort, the sweat, the (many) tears, and occasional blood or burnt hand. I can’t remember feeling so passionate about anything – and I’ve had some pretty strong intentions with other projects and career and academic goals!

A big shout out to the friends and family members that have been in the know and have been supporting me, fielding my questions, and calming my doubts, fears, and just general irrational insecurities about it all. But, just because I’m making this public, doesn’t mean your services won’t still be required!

-the Orange Canadian

Not-So On-Terrible After All

I found it surprisingly difficult to leave Mike and Scott and head through security at the Halifax airport. I alluded slightly to this in a previous post. However, there was also an issue with my Ugandan house key... in that they thought the keychain (a lock) was a weapon, and for a few moments didn’t seem willing to let me pass through with it. But this was only one of many odd occurrences on route to my vacation destination before heading home - Ontario.

I was super excited to fly WestJet, since I’m rarely given the opportunity*. The staff at check in were incredible and put up with my overly​ enthusiastic attitude about using their airline! But, once I boarded the plane, I began to realize that I was the “one” out of all the other “things” that didn’t quite “belong.” I mean, I don’t want to be judgy, or imply that I’m better than anyone (because I’m most certainly not!), but the majority of the folks I found accompanying me on this flight were... different. My favourite was the guy sitting next to me who spent the entire duration of the flight selecting and/or updating his fantasy football team**. There were a great many other stories I could share, but I’ll let those wait for another day, perhaps.

Just before the plane landed, we found ourselves in the middle of a thunder and lightening storm. This prompted most of the people around me to show signs of fear and anxiety. I, on the other hand, was super excited! And, this excitement became even greater when a few minutes after the seatbelt sign began to flash, the captain called out over the loud speaker “FLIGHT ATTENDANTS SIT DOWN! FLIGHT ATTENDANTS SIT DOWN!” and several passengers screamed, and it was all a bit over dramatic, though given that I’d been watching Lost, and hadn’t learned of its ending yet (of which I'm still pretty confused!), I was PUMPED! But then moments later, I felt the plane connect with the tarmac in one violently swift act, which again prompted the folks around me to be frightened, but I was loving every minute of it!!!

And if you think that was the end of it, you’re wrong! You see, it turned out the lightening was directly over the airport, and we, the contents of the freshly landed plane, had to walk from the plane, onto the tarmac and into the terminal. But, because of the lightening, this wasn’t able to happen, so we weren’t allowed to exit the plane, which switched everyone’s tension to transition from fear to anger, all the while I sat in my seat laughing and feeling thankful that for once I was smart enough to pack my raincoat in my carryon!

Now, onto serious business, because obviously I made it off the plane, and found my friend awaiting my arrival soon after.

On a spir-of-the-moment decision, I accepted an offer to spend a few days in the Niagara region of Ontario, where my good friend Lyndsay has been living. This was a decision that in the moment I wasn’t so sure of, because of the stresses of my short time in Nova Scotia, and my longing to be back in Uganda, but in the end, was the best decision.

My flight arrived quite late at night, so by the time we reached her place, it was a quick catch up and then off to bed. The next morning I awoke to a beautiful sunrise...WAY earlier than I wanted. I spent a little while reading and enjoying the comfort of her apartment, before we were both awake and preparing to set off on our first day of adventures; the first stop being, breakfast, of course!

Next, Lyndsay was kind enough to oblige by one request - to see Niagara Falls for the first time since 1993, and sans three older brothers that spent the entire time trying to push me in to said falls! I was pretty excited to see how things had changed, but more importantly to find out if, like many other things I’ve revisited in my adult life, they were as big as I remembered them being!

When we first parked, we were in front of a dinosaur-themed mini-golf park. I, of course, was pretty excited about this, and insisted we take picture after picture***. Then we moved on and I was able to catch my first glimpse of the Falls.

A panoramic of the golf course. It was in great need of repair, but I didn’t care - DINOSAURS!

Despite an overcast day, seeing these beauties was even more incredible than the first time!

Once we made our way towards the walkway along the river, I spotted a Hershey’s**** store, so naturally we had to pay a visit...and Lyndsay was kind enough to indulge in my need for Hershey Kiss photo-ops!

 Photo credit: Lyndsay Sprado

After consuming more Hershey’s products in 5 minutes than anyone ever needs to, we decided to take a tour of the Falls on whatever the Canadian side aimed to call itself*****. It was pretty clear that we were the only Canadians in that line-up, which made my naturally weird demeanour seem out-of-place, once again. But, we embraced it, and I began a long, foolish rant about all the things “they didn’t tell us” about the tour******.

Contemplating life is an important activity to undergo before feeling left out of the crowd snuggled together below the Falls. 

Photo credit: Lyndsay Sprado

I’m going to toot my own horn for this one, given that I had
no idea what my camera was looking at when I snapped it!

I will say this about the tour, and the falls more generally - it is unbelievable! When I’d gone as a kid, I don’t believe we went on the boat. The result of this was how overwhelmingly powerful Horseshoe Falls is once you’re basically underneath it. It looked like we had just fallen over the edge of the end of the world! It is stunning in its power and natural beauty, and yet, for the first time in my life, felt it appeared much larger than I’d remembered it as a kid. I am truly thankful to have had this opportunity!

Our next stop was a little ways down the road to see a calmer view of the river. And we were in luck too - the skycar had just set off when we arrived!

Amazing to see the rapids even this far down, but also what a spectacular view!

We returned to Lyndsay’s apartment shortly after, and spent a little while relaxing and chatting, and most importantly, trying to sort out dinner plans!

We ended up at this epic restaurant called Syndicate, which included a dining area in a secret room! The food was delicious, the background tunes were perfect, and the all around evening was awesome! Afterwards we attempted to go for a short walk along the falls, but it was too cold, so I quickly jumped out of the car and snapped this bad boy:

The Falls at night! Hauntingly beautiful!

The following day started with donuts. But not just any donuts, homemade, vegan, local, small business donuts. And they. Were. Delicious! 

You will notice from the shot below (thanks Lynds!) that the two I am holding are not 

in the box...well, one of them is, but only because we went back and bought 3 more!

After perusing some of the local shops and enjoying a tasty cup of coffee (following cramming as many of those donuts into our mouths as humanly possible!), we decided take a trip to wine country and see the area known as Niagara-on-the-Lakes.

A sweet view of the river from a look off. The land on the other side of the river is the US of A!

The day exploring a few of the wineries, and the town of Niagara-on-the-Lakes was wonderful. There were so many flowers and new growth coming in (sorry Nova Scotia! Your day is coming...maybe...).

In the evening we had, what I like to refer to as "family dinner”, where we got together and cooked my “Last Supper” in Canada for a while. And it was delicious!!

Awkward...no one told any of us that family dinner came with a dress code! 

Lyndsay made amazing aged cheddar and dill biscuits, and together we made a pork roast with a mustard gravy, smashed tedders, and LOTS of veg!

Following dinner, we went for a short walk, where we were fortunate enough to catch a stunning sunset. Between the two of us, we filmed it, and it took less than 4 minutes from when we arrived at the water’s edge to when the sun was no longer in sight! Incredible!

A stellar sunset, on a beautiful night, to end off an incredible few days. 

Also, I became a trained sun thrower. Don’t mess with me!
Photo credit: Lyndsay Sprado

The next morning came early, but with leftover donuts, so it wasn’t all bad. I had a morning flight to catch, which meant my time in On-terrible was over, and I was about to part ways with Canada once again. Interestingly, around the area where I had to clear customs, we stumbled upon a number of paintings that represented numerous countries, and low and behold, what did we find... 

I think she was calling me home...

I struggle, frequently, with the political aspects of Canada (and a few others...). But when I get to have experiences like the ones I had over these few days I spent in Niagara, and even in Nova Scotia, I can still appreciate the beauty my home country has to offer. I’m really glad I made the decision to come visit my truly amazing friend! 

Cant wait to see you in Japan!

-the Orange Canadian

*Most international flights I take use Air Canada’s parent-company, Star Alliance. 

**Nothing against fantasy football, I don’t really know what it is, but I just found this to be a bit of an odd in-air activity! He was also really trying to make sure no one around him saw his picks - he was serious!

***A refreshing switch to my usual catalogue of goat pictures that are stored lovingly on my phone!

****Which is a completely underrated chocolate company, by the way.  

*****It used to be called the Maid of the Mist, but the US has since taken that over... Jerks! Ours is now called the Hornblower, as per my glamorous poncho, but also, what kind of a name is that?!

******A play on the ridiculous tourism feedback complaints, that usually come from our neighbours to the south. For example, they didn’t tell us we’d have to get onto the boat ourselves, or they didn’t tell us we’d get wet when we were under the falls, etc., etc. Lyndsay is the most patient human being I’ve ever encountered. I would have pushed me in. 

Inappropriate Easter memories which may, or may not involve Arnold Schwarzenegger

Some of you may know that one of my favorite childhood films, is a delightful​ tale of an undercover cop seeking out the dangerous father of a student in kindergarten. You might know of this film, by it's poetic title: Kindergarten Cop, staring one of the most eloquently, artistic actors of that generation, Arnold Schwarzenegger*.

Image source: Wikipedia

This film includes many memorable moments and quotes, Suh as my personal favorite, "Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina," which is both educational and unsolicited in it's delivery/admission.

Another is when, Arnie's character develops a bit of a headache from​ trying to control the class full of kids he's been hired to "teach." One of the students suggests it might be a brain tumor, to which Arnold frustratedly replies that "IT IS NOT A TUMOR!"

Why am I telling you this? Well, four Easter's ago, my Mom and brother came to pick up my then-roommate and I for a weekend home. The week leading up to it had been stressful and I was looking forward to just relaxing. The problem was, upon their arrival my Mom confessed that the week before my grandma (not my now 90-year-old one) had been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer...which both upset me and made me really angry for the secrecy. Looking back now, I realize how silly that was, especially since I lost both my grandma and my mom a few weeks later

Anyway, we eventually packed into the car and began our drive back to the city. As we made it about two blocks up the road, my brother - trying to break the tension - attempted a little humour/Arnold impression. By impression, I mean , he yelled out, as Arnold's character had, "IT IS NOT A TUMOR!" to which I replied "BUT IT IS A TUMOR" and then proceeded to exit the moving car and ran back to my house crying. Not my greatest moment, but hilarious in hindsight, nonetheless!

Somehow, while Mike and I were sorting through things in his house, this memory surfaced, leading to a terrific fit of uncontrollable laughter, a great hug, and an admission of how terrible that decision of his was.

The best.
Photo credit: Michael Kennedy

Anyway, Mike, looking back it was a pretty stellar scene involving a then 28-year-old throwing an obnoxious temper tantrum. Comedic gold, I believe they say. But if I'm going to throw one, I'm glad it was at the cause of your attempt at being kind...even if it was in a really weird way. Live you. Thanks​.

-The Orange Canadian

*Whoa! Thanks word guessy thing! Who knew that typing in the name ‘Arnold’ would automatically prompt the next word to be Schwarzenegger?!

Home Frozen Home: A Different Reflection Since Last Time

Heading back to Canada usually leaves me feeling equal parts resentful and anxious. This is a sentiment I have struggled with continuously over the last few years and this trip was no different.

Much to what seems like pretty much everyone's disappointment, it has been a fairly short trip*. But the purpose wasn't to vacation or spend any prolonged period of time here. It was actually meant to be a birthday surprise for my grandmother, and to collect a few items that I'd been missing in Uganda.

Leading up to my departure I felt an overwhelming sense of nervous energy. I usually do pre-flight, but not like this. I just felt uneasy and like something might go wrong. But, the interaction with the Somalian family at the airport, and the epic amount of leg room I had for the first leg of my trip back made me feel like things were going to be a bit more positive than. I was fearing it would be.

Best leg room ever!

In the first few days after arrival I struggled to adapt to the large temperature difference**. It also involved a stop at Burger Week, before the big surprise took place.

Burger Week

Spending a few days at my grandmother's ended up being the best choice, however. Not because anywhere else would have been awful, but because of the tranquility of her home. Spending time with her was also a bonus. If you don't understand what I mean about her home, the pictures below will give you a better idea. It's surrounded by nature - beautiful trees, plenty of birds and assorted other wildlife. It's also pretty devoid of technology, which means being present in every moment, rather than being distracted by messages and Facebook updates. 

The difference an hour can make!

A few visitors had come by, apparently...

Tranquil sunsets - the best way to end a day!

The next morning... really cold, but beautiful!

But after that initial weekend, things really began to speed up. I spent the the following week in Wolfville, my old university town, which involved a busy schedule of catching up with old friends and profs, as well as meeting new folks. It was a busy week, but a really great one. Wolfville still remains my favorite place in Canada, and it always makes me appreciate the sheer beauty of my country of origin, even if all the other aspects make me resentful or cause me to stay away.

All in all, my trip home has been a success. But there are four takeaways that I will be departing with, and they are as follows:

First, as I've just mentioned, Canada, on the whole, is beautiful. Most people I encountered were kind, welcoming and friendly, in the way many non-Canadians associate us with being. But aside from that, most are pretty disillusioned by what Canada really is***. The conversations that have followed Syria's latest headlines have been proof of this****. The realities of Canada in comparison to many other parts of the world is one that I struggle to reconcile when I talk to my Canadian friends, and it's one that is equally challenging to impart on ohers.

Secondly, the people who really want to be there are the ones that will make the effort. This has been a major learning curve for me this trip. I have had a number of people that made zero effort to get in touch while I was in Halifax all summer, last year, yet during this short trip have reached out. Overall this was pretty exciting, except no one seemed to want to come to Wolfville, which is where I'll now be living whenever I come back. That being said, the friends that I hold dearest all made some form of effort to meet me and/or coordinate a visit. But, it's hard to realize a vast majority of the people in my life are not willing to do this, yet expect me to go out of my way for them.

Above, my best friend in weirdness, Matthew. Below, my second family.

Thirdly, I still own WAY too much stuff. During my time here, my brother sold his Halifax home. This was actually a really great thing, but meant having to sort through a lot of the items I own. The good news is that I'm getting better at purging things each time. But it still makes it difficult to part with things for which I have established emotional ties, such as furniture from my Mom's house and a number of her other belongings. Each time I feel accomplished, but like she's fading further and further away*****.

Finally, returning to Canada next time will be there first time I won't have a Halifax home base for the first time in my life. And while, on the one hand, it's for a really great reason, and I'm extremely proud of my brother, it's unsettling nonetheless. But the thing I will try to remember is that at least I will have some form of homemade when I come back. In other words, this growing up thing is slightly overrated.

So, my dear, estranged Canada, thank you for highlighting your good qualities this time around. I'm still not ready to come back to you for any lengthy, meaningful amount of time, but unlike last time, I'm parting ways hopeful that we could be reunited ited once again, long-term.

Until then,

- the Orange Canadian

*although I did stay several days longer than originally planned.
**it was +33°C when I left Uganda, and -20°C when I arrived in Halifax!
***you may remember my breakup letter when I left last time.
****I'll tackle this in a later post - still trying to piece my thoughts together. 
*****There's a really great dead Mom joke in here, but I'll leave it this time....

Hope is in Bloom Once Again

Last week, I once again, had the honor of hanging out with the folks at Hope Blooms.

My intention was to discuss a few of the tricks I currently have up my sleeve, some of which I'm hoping can be of benefit to this outstanding organization.

After these discussions took place, Jessie and I discussed the importance of having age specific activities, which enable those within each group to bond, while at the same time encouraging interaction between the organization’s youngest and oldest members. This, to me, is what Hope Blooms is all about - the collaboration of young people, towards a common goal, for the good of their community.

I have watched a number of these guys (and gals) grow up over the last few years - first from afar, but more recently first-hand. Three Christmases ago, I was fortunate enough to spend a few days with a group of Hope Bloomers, and to see that some of those same individuals are soon graduating is pretty neat.

As I go forward in my own endeavours, I keep the story of Hope Blooms close to my heart. What started from a single individuals vision has shaped the lives of an otherwise forgotten community, by showcasing the positive aspects, rather than the stigmas that had previously been attached to this part of the city. What makes Jessie so incredible is that she did this, all the while placing the spotlight on the kids, and pushing herself out of her comfort zone. She is equally as much of an inspiration as all of the members of Hope Blooms have been for me.

If you’re ever told you can’t achieve something good in the world, or your dreams, more generally, are silly or can never be realized,  look no further than this example. Hope Blooms is the real deal, and will inspire you to do greatness every single time.

To learn more about Hope Blooms, visit their website at http://hopeblooms.ca, or follow them on social media using @hopebloomshfx.

Thank you guys (and gals), once again for letting me share your space, inspiring me, and just being awesome! Keep up the great work, and I can’t wait to catch up with you all when I come back in December!

-the Orange Canadian

Konversations with Kids

Towards the end of 2016, around the time that I arrived back in Uganda, Disney released a film that told a story from the country that stole my heart*. The film is none other than Queen of Katwe - an inspiring tale of a young Ugandan girl who becomes an international chess sensation!

Image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_of_Katwe

Despite the fact that much of the filming was done in South Africa, and David Oyelowo butchered the accent on a number of occasions**, the film, overall, depicted a fairly accurate representation of life in Kampala for many of its residents. But, I also found it portrayed a good representation of Ugandan culture, and the beauty that this country has to offer. It offered up a good balance between leaving you with that feel good sentiment at movies conclusion, while also showing some of the hardships and realities that usually wouldn’t make the cut, without overdoing it.

A few months ago, my good friend Sweet Cheeks*** sent me a message to tell me that she and her two kids had just watched the film. At that point I still hadn’t seen it, so I couldn’t really comment on it’s accuracy, representation, etc. But in the conversation that followed she mentioned that both her kids - her daughter in particular - had started to become curious about life in Uganda. Me, being ever-so-keen to talk about Uganda to anyone who will listen, offered to have a chat with her when I came back to Canada.

And so, last week, out meeting took place. 

Sweet Cheeks and her two kids.
Photo credit: Amanda Jay

I realized the moment I opened the door to welcome the three of them in, that I had never met other of the kids. I knew a lot about them via Facebook, and they knew a bit about me through conversations with their Mom leading up to this particular evening. 

We all quickly settled in the living room, and in no time, the kids began to ask me questions. Some of them were silly - which could easily be chalked up to the amount of pressure they apparently felt to ask all of their questions in one evening, but also just the not knowing how to ask, or even what  - but, once we began to chat a bit, they began to ask some well thought out questions.  These included how I access water, what types of food I ate, and what languages are spoken. They asked about the trees I see there, and my neighbourhood. They asked me about life in Jinja versus life in Kampala, and seemed to be pretty impressed once I (eventually) managed to pull up my old apartment on Google Maps! 

After they left (which involved several unexpected hugs before they could depart!), I thought about some of the questions that they asked. It was clear that they had both given the movie some thought in context to their own lives - even if they didn’t know they had been. I thought it was really neat that two young Nova Scotians were interested in a place as far away as Uganda; not just as the setting from a movie they’d watched, but also in respect to how we are all connected despite the obvious distance. But it was also pretty amazing that a Disney film (which I wouldn’t usually associate with as being thought provoking) had compelled these to kids to ask questions. 

It’s these moments that I really appreciate about my life outside of Canada - what I can teach others about a different part of the world. I think in this day and age when our newsfeed, technology use and other sources of information are inundated with negativity, these conversations are even more necessary. It wasn’t about me trying to sway them to believe one thing or another, but about them trying to piece together the images they saw, with the questions they had, and how that can lead to an experience beyond just watching a film. 

I really enjoyed their curiosity, and I hope I’ve inspired them to have a closer look at a part of the world they may not have a lot of exposure to outside of the usual topics (slavery, geography, WorldVision commercials, etc.). But, Sweet Cheeks - the best way for them to really get a sense of it is to just bring them for a visit (just drug them for the shots!)!

-the Orange Canadian

*Or “stop emu” as autocorrect seemed to think I was tying to say...

**Pretty sure my accent is better than his... 

***A name lovingly bestowed upon her by my mother!