Have you ever had one of those moments when someone makes a really innocent comment that leads you to unload all the fear you’re holding inside?
I sure have. And as recent as last week.
I don’t even remember the context for which the topic came up, but I commented on a weird pattern of weather events that had occurred earlier in the year, which, in that moment hit me like a ton of bricks and I verbal (via text) diarrhea-ed my soul without any invitation. Truth be told - I still feel awful about that. But, it also allowed me to recognize the toll these last few months have had on me.
The weather events in question are the last snowstorm and first heatwave of the year. They happened 3 weeks apart. And the more I have thought about this fact, the more frightened I become of what’s ahead.
Before I get into that, I want to rehash a bit of the unload. I have previously alluded to part of this in my first post at the onset of the pandemic, and that is having already lived in a climate changed world. I shared with this particular individual about witnessing the speed in which the rainy seasons shifted hastily from two per year to maybe one; about the impact on farmers and the economy. I shared about the inability to unsee the impacts of climate change once you begin to recognize it happening around you. And I shared how afraid I am to see the same happen here, in Nova Scotia, only to, once again, find myself in a position to be unable to do anything about it. Because once it hits, there is no turning back. It’s game over.
But the more I thought about the events that bookcased those three weeks noted above, the more I consider the circumstances that took place before the middle of May. We’ve been in lockdown starting the week of March 16th. Our world in this tiny province came to an abrupt stop. And like so many other parts of the world, on a climate-level at least, we started to see positive changes. People didn’t need to drive every where, every minute of the day. We ventured outside more, for the sake of being outside. We began to refocus our attention on supporting local businesses. We adjusted our way of life.
I have experienced cyclical periods of optimism and dismay during these last few months. They have given me time to pause, reflect, and consider the future. But nothing has been as striking as the other day when it dawned on me - those events occurred after a change in our behaviour.
For the last couple of days, I have sat with my thoughts for some time and pondered how things may have been different had the pandemic not set in. Would that three week period have happened in the same way? Would it have been worse, had we not given Mother Earth a moment to breathe? Or did we make it worse?
I don’t have the answers to this. But what I can tell you is that this is my unseeable moment. Climate change has found us in a way we can no longer turn a blind eye to. Sure, there have been other obvious indicators in the past, but this is the one that will stick; for me at least. I can no longer deny what’s happening around me. This is a painful reality.
The most difficult part of working in the realm of climate change, is that there is never a clear cut or easy answer. Every single decision unleashes any number of equally terrible outcomes. For example, we place great weight on solar panels (I myself am quite keen to live in a house powered by solar energy!). And yes, they do have a positive impact on reducing GHG emissions once they are on our rooves. However, getting them to that point requires significant extraction of resources, plus the use of some heavy chemicals in order to manufacture the panels, and then there’s the whole process of transporting and installing them. But rarely do we discuss that side of it.
In saying that, there is a very real possibility that our global lockdown has, in fact, increased the intensity and impacts of climate change. This relates to global dimming, the resurfacing of gasses previously stored in bodies of water and in the atmosphere due to pollution, and the abrupt shift at which we went from 100 to 0. This is precisely what I meant by, would we have seen such a drastic change in weather patterns if we had continued with “business as usual” or did we make it better or worse?
I realize that these intertwined contradictions are, for many, the reason we have such skepticism. Climate change is sort of like beating a difficult level of a video game, only to then have to face “a boss” without any cheat codes. We have the knowledge and the skills to beat the worst of it, but I mostly fear that we will lose the fight due to the overwhelm and exhaustion of the constant uphill battle that is climate change. This is why I continue to be inspired by younger generations, and love working with students eager to make a difference. The social justice sphere comes with a high rate of burnout. It can be soul crushing, although when breakthroughs happen, they are magnificent. But it also stresses why it’s so important to have new blood entering the playing field continuously. We can’t do it alone. This is a tag-team scenario. And if we keep up that momentum, maybe we’ll have a fighting chance of sustaining long-term human life on our planet.
- the Orange Canadian
