That Time Grammy Got Out of Hand: A visit to Ross Farm

In Nova Scotia, it seems as though a visit to Ross Farm is a rite-of-passage for elementary school kids across the province. For some reason, I seem to have missed this field trip in my early years, and as a result it has been on my provincial bucket list.

A few weekends ago, I spent some much needed/overdue time with my Grandmother. Usually we end up in Mahone Bay or Chester or both. During the weekend I was visiting, however, it was rainy, and we decided it was a sign to do something a bit different - shake things up. Given my intro paragraph, I'm pretty sure you've probably figured it out... we went to Ross Farm.

For anyone not from Nova Scotia, Ross Farm is a working farm and one of the province's many awesome museums. It opened in 1969, and ever since has been teaching countless* tourists about farm life in the 1800s. The farm itself began in 1816, when Captain Ross set up shop.

The grounds of the farm are a mixture of old buildings, fields boasting a variety of vegetables, a bit of pasture, and of course a handful of staff donning period clothing**. Luckily for us, there weren't many people there - likely because of the weather - so, it gave us ample time to slowly wander and enjoy the visit (both with each other and on the farm).

Upon entering the farm, you are given a pamphlet with a map, so you know the lay of the land. I learned that it is not necessarily to scale. This means, there were some things that looked very far away, but weren't and others that looked really close, but were actually much further. Then there was the whole me leading Grammy off the beaten path, into a field of shiiirt animal droppings... but I digress...

The first stop is the newly added eduction centre. This is the first building you enter and is actually where you pay your (minimal) entrance fee. I loved this because there was a bunch of art work from elementary students depicting what food meant to them. And there were crazy things - drawings, hand-sown plush fruits and veggies, even a few mobiles***. Each of the items was accompanied by the reason the individual had created what they did and why it was important. It gave me hope.

Then we made our way to the schoolhouse. This is a one-room structure, that was actually built in 1907 and was (somehow) transported to its current site for the purposes of the museum. Some of the books that were on the bookshelves inside seemed really interesting - my favourite being How do Plants Grow, which I thought could be useful for today's generations (young AND old!).

Outside shot of the schoolhouse.

Inside the one-room schoolhouse. 

The next stop was Ross Barn, which housed a number of animals both outdoors and in, as well as a museum of agricultural tools - some of which they still use on the farm today. Well, some of the same tools are used, not the ones on display. This was interesting, as I'd seen a few of them still in use today during my travels in both Ghana and Uganda. I still for the life of me cannot understand how people can use a hand hoe to till large areas of land. I have such a respect for anyone who can physically do so for more than the 5 minutes I was tasked to do so during a farm visit in Northern Ghana! It's hard work!

Some of the animals chillin' outdoors. There was the most enormous pig I've ever seen, along with some sheep and a few horses.

After a walk through the barn, I noticed a nice view of the river that was behind the farm. I convinced Grammy to head in that direction so I could snap a photo (which does not even remotely show what I saw!), and is the moment we set off course in to the poo poo patch. But before that, we visited Rose Bank Cottage - built in 1817 - learned about how steep stairs used to be back in the day, sans railings, and ate molasses cookies. As Grammy noted, we'd worked up quite an appetite! Next to the Cottage is an old store. 

A panoramic shot of inside the shop!

The view that led us to the poo!

Our final walking destination was to the mill. Unfortunately it was not in operation at the time of our visit, but it was still neat to take a look around. It also gave a really pretty view!

View from the Mill.

And then, my favourite moment of the entire visit - I convinced a very reluctant Grammy to go on a horse wagon ride! She was not sold on this idea in the least. But throughout the visit in my annoying, yet adorable way, I repeatedly told her how we were going to do this. At first, I thought it had been this magic of mine that convinced her, but now I know she was secretly on board the whole time. For, you see, we were the second family/group in the line up for the next trip. A family with 3 small children came a few minutes after us. Well, when the wagon returned, and the participants of that trek vacated, the small children got a little excited and "cut the line"... 

(pause for suspense and comedic effect!)

And Grammy was having none of it! You should have seen her! She was pushing them out of the way like a mad woman hoping to get the last Malibu Stacey doll on Christmas Eve! But that's not even the best part. In my shock, I ended up being the last to get on, and she's calling out to me I saved you a seat, right here! while patting the empty part of the bench next to her, with a big 'ol grin! That's my grandmother! 

Anyway, the ride was fun. It took us to the two spots we didn't get to walk to - the blacksmith and the cooper shop. We had the option to hang back and look around, but Grammy was feeling pretty tired (probably for pushing small children out of her way in order to score prime wagon bench real estate!). Instead we sat back, relaxed and enjoy the 15-20 minute trek throughout the farm grounds and into the woods a bit along the water. 

The only disappointment of the whole experience was that there wasn't a cafe on-site. There are biscuits and tea/coffee for sale in the gift shop, but that was not going to quiet our rumbling bellies. This of course, was easily fixed by paying a visit to my favourite provider of nourishment - the Kiwi Cafe in Chester!

If you haven't been to either Ross Farm or the Kiwi - do yourselves a favour and go. I mean, it doesn't hurt that the Kiwi serves Java Blend coffee, but also it's just delicious. And the farm is a fun interactive adventure for any family, no matter what ages! Heck! Go by yourself!

When we arrived back home, we both surprised ourselves by taking a 2-hour 10 minute nap****. Afterwards, I took a stroll down by the waterfront to see if any of the blueberries were ready for eating (nope!), and to check out the progress of the new turnoff. It was so calm and peaceful, and it made me disappointed to not have my kayak! Oh well! Next time!

A few shots from the bay!

I'm back for another weekend of adventures in a few days, so who knows where that will take us this time!

-the Orange Canadian

*approximately 25 000 per year according to their Facebook page.
**that is, time relevant attire.
*** the usually colourful and fun shapes held together that dangle over a baby's crib, not the cellular variety!
****that is, we intended to just close our eyes for 10 minutes, but woke up 2 hours later! Apparently it wasn't just an appetite we worked up!

Reverse Culture Shock, Epic Lightening and Accomplishing Childhood Dreams: A night with Lauryn Hill

There have been many a rainy, or perhaps more frequently, snowy day that involved braving the weather and jumping from my home to my next door neighbour's house. Many of these inclement weather excursions involved watching Sister Act 2.

While the film is overall pretty great, there is one scene in particular that has always stayed with me - the moment where a character down on her luck, bursts out into one of the most powerful versions of Joyful, Joyful I have ever heard. A clip that - thanks to the powers of YouTube - I have been able to replay over and over, every time giving me goosebumps and frequently bringing a tear to my eye the moment she hits that first note. And that lady was played by the one, the only, Lauryn Hill.

Now if we travel back in time a bit, several months ago, while I was in Uganda, a friend posted on the 'ol Book of Faces that Lauryn Hill would be playing at Halifax Jazz Fest. This immediately prompted a call home to put the pressure on to score some tickets. Thankfully, my awesome brother was able to snag a few and the dream of seeing this incredibly gifting singer, songwriter began to unfold.

Before I knew it, it was July 12. I was having a pretty stressful/not-so-wonderful day. I feared the worst. It was an omen that Ms. Hill would not take the stage, as she's known for being a no-show or flat out refusing to perform because she doesn't like the crowd's energy. I was anxious all day. In fact, this was probably the most risky investment of my life... sadly. So when my brother called to tell me he was on his way, I nearly had a meltdown, because I thought he was calling to say she would not be performing. I also happened to scare the pants off of the mob of other concert-goers around me, until I gave the all-clear that that was not the intent of the phone call.

Fastforward to entering the venue - which was not at the Casino, as I'd thought. They scan my ticket, and I walk up to the two or three security people while trying to unzip my bag. And they all just looked at me funny. No security check. They didn't care what contents were in the material that clung around my shoulder. And I felt uncertain. I was confused. And then I realized I was in Nova Scotia - security checks are few and far between. And while that gives me a sense of comfort, it's also deeply concerning...

I then met up with a friend and we were sitting and chatting and enjoying the perfect summer evening while waiting for the show to begin. All of a sudden panic struck - I didn't bring bug spray! What if I got Malaria?! Oh... wait... I'm in Nova Scotia - that's not a thing here. Where I thought I've been the last three months, I have no idea, but I certainly forgot I'd been home. And that's pretty much the first time since arriving home that I felt the discomfort of reverse culture shock, aside from my hesitation at crosswalks.

But, as 9PM began to edge more closely to 10PM, we started to get nervous. Was my anticipation to see Ms. Hill about to be dashed?

And then it happened. She took the stage. Everyone went crazy. She played a few incredible songs - mind-blowing songs. And then it began to thunder and lightening, causing the band and songstress to leave the stage.

The lightship was incredible! And for awhile I felt sorry for Lauryn, because people seemed to be way more taken by the lightening than her. But come one, it was pretty epic... minus the torrential downpour that followed it.

This was shot during the unplanned intermission light show!
Photo credit/source: TJ Maguire/Haligonia.ca

After a good hour break, including some cleanup time on stage, Ms. Hill returned with her band, and played one bang on set! Honestly - that lady is unbelievably talented. She played well past the midnight sound by-law, but no one seemed to care - it was incredible. Songs from her one and only solo album, some classic hits, and even a few Fugees tunes to end off the night!

It was certainly well worth the wait, the rain, and the anxiety related to no-show fears. And although she didn't rehash her rendition of Joyful Joyful it didn't matter. Hands down one of the best live performances I have ever been witness to.

Thanks for showing up, Ms. Hill. And thanks for a night that will not soon be forgotten!

-the Orange Canadian

Deep Thoughts on the Ferry: The Viola Desmond

When the sun is shining or there is presence of Nova Scotia sunshine (fog), I usually opt to use the ferry service as my means of getting to work. The 25-30 minute walk is a great way to start the work day, and the evening ferry rides are often quiet relaxing - the perfect way to decompress after a day's work.

This week, however, there is an added bit of excitement to my daily commute. I had the fortune of travelling across the big harbour on the Viola Desmond.

Photo Source: www.halifax.ca

The Viola Desmond is the newest member of Halifax Transit's harbour fleet after being placed into circulation last week. The vessel's namesake is perhaps fitting given the events taking place in the US and around the world. The name was selected through Halifax's ferry naming contest, which ran from February 1-15 of this year and included other possibilities such as, Vincent Coleman and Private John Curwin*.

For those of you unfamiliar with Viola Desmond's story let me give you a bit of a Cole's notes background. Viola was a Nova Scotia businesswomen in the 1940s. She also happened to be Black. In 1946, while on a business trip in New Glasgow, she decided to see a movie. Of course, this doesn't seem like any activity out of the ordinary, except that she wanted to purchase a floor ticket, but wasn't allowed to do so because of her skin pigmentation. Despite the laws at the time, Viola sat in the lower section, and was later arrested on charges of failing to pay the theatre tax - also known as "failing to be white." She spent a night in jail, paid the fines, and then eventually went on to battle it out in court - making Viola's actions a game changer in the Nova Scotia Civil Rights Movement. On April 15, 2010, Viola Desmond received an official apology from the Government of Nova Scotia (although 45 years after her passing). See the following Canadian Heritage Minute for a visual history.

The situation in 1946 is an interesting case, given Nova Scotia's contribution to the underground railroad and the push to end slavery. The province was of particular significance during the abolition of slavery in relocating freed slaves. Lawrence Hill's 2007 novel, The Book of Negroes focuses specifically on Nova Scotia's role. This, of course, does not mean that racism was not present in the province at that time, or that of Viola Desmond's, or even today. My point being, that this province has a history of opening its boarders during a time of great need (Syrian refugees, anyone?!). It provided opportunity - albeit quite challenging and riddled with inequality - to those able to leave slavery's rule in the United States, and yet only a few decades ago, Black Nova Scotians were are still being treated unfairly. In fact, as I sat down to write this post and took that bit of information in, I was dumbfounded as to how that was possible. It's so absurd when you think of it, that the color of one's skin - completely disregarding their capabilities, experiences, and qualities as a human being - could have such significance for someone just wanting to watch a movie like anyone else. And yes, I realize that as a white female from a Western country, my views are a bit more rose-tinted because racism has never personally affected me or been directed towards me, but it's still just so incredibly ridiculous to me. Even the events of the past week, the negativity directed towards the Black Lives Matter Movement, and the countless unnecessary deaths of African-Americans leave me equally mind-boggled over how it is 2016 and we still haven't figured out that inside traits (knowledge/experience, contributions to one's community, work ethic, etc) are more important than outside or uncontrollable ones (skin colour, passport, height, size, etc)!

But as I sat on the ferry on my way to work, I felt a sense of pride and excitement knowing that I was aboard the Viola Desmond. Placing her name on a boat doesn't erase the past, but it will be a daily reminder of Nova Scotia's darker history and the woman who took a stand against it.

-the Orange Canadian

*Before the contest was shortlisted to 5 choices, the Municipality received plenty of submissions for possible names, a few of which were pretty funny. These included the Fart Hopper, Yeah Buoy!, Donair and Katy Ferry. It's not Boaty McBoatface or Ferry McFerry, but what can you do...

Popcorn-on-the-Cob

The title of this post pretty much says it all.

For the last few months every time I have visited my grandmother, she has pulled out a package containing a brown paper bag and what looks like an ordinary cob of corn and insists that we make it. The problem is that she also makes obnoxiously filling meals, so generally by dessert/snack time, there is no room for anything more (I know, a difficult problem to be faced with!).

Anyway, this past weekend, I spent some quality time with my favourite grandmother, and like clock work, as we were preparing dinner she pulls out the aforementioned cob of corn. The difference, is that this time we actually made it... and it. was. pretty neat! I only wish I had taken a before shot.

Before:

Photo Credit: Barb Pierce who came to the rescue!

But, h Here's the aftermath:

How it works is pretty simple. Basically, you place the cob into the brown bag, fold the opening closed a few times, and then pop it in the microwave for a few minutes, or until the popping stops for more than a few seconds. Then voila - you get a full bowl of freshly popped popcorn! We seasoned ours with a little maple chive salt, which made for an epic Canadian twist on a classic snack.

Then I killed her at a game of dominoes.

-the Orange Canadian.

The Next Stage in Healing

Every time I log on to my LinkedIn account and it makes those suggestions that are intended to improve your profile, I always have to take a double take of this one:

That's because every time, I first read it as "do you have any parents?" And while I'm not completely without parents, at least officially anyway, it still takes my breath for a few microseconds*. That pain and loneliness that comes from missing a parent returns, and the process continues.

I have to say, I have an overwhelming amount of friends that find themselves in the same position as me - not taken back by LinkedIn's suggestion but - without parent or parents. As both Mother's and Father's Day recently passing, it has become abundantly clear that I am not in this alone. But it also makes me feel incredibly sad that so many of the people I love know this same emptiness.

Since returning home from Uganda, one of my big tasks has been downsizing the storage unit that housed all of the items I kept after preparing Mom's house for sale. I definitely have much to get rid off, but it is amazing just what I felt, in those emotionally charged and dazed moments, was essential to keep her memory and my memory of her alive. Many boxes and bins were filled with crap not even Value Village** would accept!

The process is still ongoing, as there continues to remain several bins of books and various other items. So what's the hold up? It's draining... emotionally. Every container opened is also opening a flood of memories - both good and bad. They drag up the feelings of those first hours, days, weeks and months without her. They remind me of what she's missed out on, and what she won't see in the future. It's selfish to an extent, to miss her being there for these sorts of things (not the cleaning... although, her help would have been appreciated!).

I write a lot about her... and the loss. That in and of itself gets tiring. Missing her, grieving, and trying to move forward is tiring. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, which is exactly why I feel sad when I recognize that it's not just me going through all of these things. And, it's not even just about the loss of a parent, it's loss in general.

"They" say all heals over time. "They" say we don't forget or lose the pain, but learn to live with it. I say, haven't we all done enough learning? When is it nap time?!

-the Orange Canadian

*Actually a thing! Check it out here.
**For those of you unfamiliar, Value Village is a chain of second-hand stores across the US and Canada.

Eric's Big Harbour Adventure: An unexpected IYIP mini-reunion

In a world as small as Halifax - and international development in Halifax, at that! - it was bound to happen the the three IYIPers remaining in Nova Scotia's capital would find themselves at the International Assistance Review! Although I kind of figured we'd all be there, it also took me completely by surprise that my other two cohorts were there, one of which (my gladiating opponent*) was at the same table as me!

After the lengthy day, we decided to catch up over a round of drinks and some dinner. This, of course, lead to shenanigans.

While waiting for the bus - and having all the other participants of the Review wave to us as they drove by in their mostly half-filled vehicles - Eric made a comment about how he had never been on the Halifax-Dartmouth ferry. Obviously this had to be corrected. So instead of taking the bus directly to downtown Halifax where our hangry bodies were planning on caching up, we took a different bus to downtown Dartmouth, and made our way to Halifax via the ferry.

A snapshot from our walk to the ferry terminal in Dartmouth, with downtown Halifax
on the right. I don't really know why this photograph is so dark - it was lovely outside!

I was a little worried about how Eric would manage this big journey - it's a pretty lengthy 12-ish minutes, after all. But Nicole and I were there to support him and make sure he didn't get too scared. This of course meant we insisted he have his picture taken on various stages of the trip.

Pre-departure excitement!

A nice little we're on the move shot, with downtown Halifax in the backdrop.

But folks, don't worry - we made it to Halifax safe and sound. And with all that excitement, we had worked ourselves up quite the appetite.

Celebrating his accomplishment - crossing the Big Harbour!

Just before I took this picture of the three of us, I made a comment
about not being good at self-photographs. Case in point. Also, I'm
 pretty sure you couldn't find a more Caucasian trio if you tried...

In all honesty, though, it was a great (early) evening. We laughed, caught up, and tried to grasp how Eric - who is not from Nova Scotia - seemed to be the only one of the three of us knowledgeable about Halifax! It also reinforced just how old we (I) are getting - we had to call it a night a 8pm, and I walked home in my dress** and sneakers...

-the Orange Canadian

*It turns out he didn't let me win, he's just a wuss! Kidding - it was freakin' hard!!
**When we boarded the bus, the lady driving asked if we were going out for a night on the town, because we were all dressed smartly from the conference! Little did she know...

Recap of the Halifax International Assistance Review

It's hard to believe it's almost halfway through June. And perhaps it's even harder to believe that I have been neglecting the blogging world for a few weeks.

Not much has been going on aside form adjusting to work life, catching up with friends, and putting the details together for the next year. Being as I didn't think anyone would be interested to hear* about the job that reminds me on a daily basis that a desk job with the Federal government - while it pays nice - is not where I see myself long term. It is, surprisingly, a little more interesting than I'd thought it would be!

Anyway, I now have something exciting to talk about. I got business cards.

Actually, a week or so ago I received an invitation to attend one of six consultative meetings for Global Affairs Canada's** International Assistance Review. This was a pretty big deal, I thought, given that they are attended by invitation only - an invitation I received through my connection to the Atlantic Council for International Cooperation (the organization that sent me to Uganda). This, of course, became even more of a big deal when I was informed it would broadcast live online for anyone interested to see***. Why this made me nervous, I do not know.

Prior to the meeting we were given a copy of the recently published discussion paper for us to review.  The paper includes six thematic areas ranging from health, security, environment and humanitarianism. Then, as part of the RSVP, we were to select two of these areas that we were most interested in discussing. I initially selected Clean economic growth and climate change and Delivering Results in that order, but eventually switched it up. And I was really glad that I did.

But speaking to the discussion paper, I have to say I was disappointed. It's not that I thought it was going to blow my mind with meaningful, thoughtful or impressive knowledge, but I guess I had hoped it would be a little more than a few short (half empty) pages that barely scratched the surface of these complex topics. Now, I know that point of the paper is to spark discussion while giving a basic overview, but its pages weren't the only thing I thought seemed empty...

Back to the actual topic at hand... the Review. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised to find the room not completely occupied by a bunch of middle-aged, white men, as I've witnessed in past events (the WTO conference, for example!). In fact there was an interesting collage of middle-aged white men, youth - both university students or new entrants of the employment world - and everyone in between. It was also attended by several students of the Coady Institute, which gave insight from a wide range of countries outside of Canada and the West. And for that, I'd say it was a pretty solid gathering, although, there could certainly have been a wider range of participants, particularly from the category of we don't care about development!

If you look REALLY closely, you can see my sweater on the left of the audience picture.
Twitter Credit: @CanadaDev

The event had a pretty basic agenda: opening remarks, a few conversation starters from the panelists, followed by an open Q&A and a lengthy table discussion. The first bit was pretty surface level. Some key points were made - especially about the need to place emphasis on small and medium sized organizations, as opposed to the larger multinationals****.

But there were some other facts, as well, that hurt - such as the beautiful argument that was thrown around frequently concerning the welcoming of 25 000 refugees earlier this year and what sparked the theme of my Masters dissertation. You know, the we spend too much money on 'those people' argument. Well, because of the Review, I now have an even better comeback than the 'ol we're all humans rebuttal. In turns out, some European country spends about $60 per person per year on international development. The UK sits at around $18, and the US at $9 something. Where does Canada lie, you ask? Each year, Canada spends a measly $7.79 per person per year on foreign assistance. SO next time you decide to make some snarky, unsubstantiated comment about how we're taking too much money from other important initiatives*****, just think, you're only giving the equivalent of the cost of a meal at McDonalds each year... without the eventual risk of heart disease or weight gain.

Based on the recaps at the end of the event, the table discussions were fairly productive. I sat at the delivering results table, which focused on the how of Global Affairs action plan going forward. While there was some meaningful discussion, it was surface-level, at best. I mean, you can't really get into it when you only have 60 minutes to answer some pretty heavy questions. That being said, we touched on a range of topics, from the discrepancy of aid worker salaries compared to that of locals, the idea of pooling funding to avoid duplication of like projects, and the need for transparency and accountability from both sides (meaning Canada and the host/recipient country).

For me, however, the most important topic that came up, was in regards to the who (and no, I don't mean the famous '60s band!). Our facilitator made note of the infamous US$1.25 a day baseline measure for poverty. The use of this dollar figure (or whatever it is now at) has always bothered me for many reasons (mostly the rationale that money is the basis and only purpose of everything!). It was at this point that I remarked the need to redefine the end goal - is it merely to get the more than 3 billion people living in poverty today to a state of achieving an income greater than US$1.25 a day, but allow them to remain vulnerable, or to achieve something better?!

This has been one of the great debates of the last many decades in the development world, and yet, here we are, 2016, and still trying to decide what the plan is. I remarked that the conversations surrounding this and development as a whole are superficial at best, and never actually tackle the topic at hand - the need to build capacity and to remove the vulnerability, instead of the bandaid approach we continue to default to. This of course received mixed feedback, with one commenter suggesting I was correct, although perhaps a bit crude in my wording. But that was exactly the point - we need to stop sugar coating everything and start making people uncomfortable. Another of my fellow table discussers brought up the idea of needing to start a wave of Canadians seeking change... in the right way. And while I completely agree, I have to think -  how will that ever be accomplished if we're too afraid to upset anyone******?!

These consultations are part of a process that the current Government has been rolling out across many different departments. They are a means for Canadians to have their say in the future direction of our country. Sadly, these are the first consultations that have taken place related to Canada's international development program in 20 years*******!!

But aside from the closed doors, invite-only sessions in Canada and abroad, everyone else willing to give a few minutes of their time can also have their say! All you have to do is head to the International Assistance Review's webpage, and go to the online questionnaire. The questions found here are the same we worked with during the table discussions. You can also participate via electronic and snail mail - you just have to do so before July 31st! So please, just as I urged all of my fellow Canadians to get out and vote, I also encourage you to have your voice heard in any and all of these consultative processes - even if you're not an expert in that field!

Sorry if this all seemed a bit choppy - passion tends to do that to me from time to time, as you may have also come to learn! It was an incredible experience to have been a part of, and I'm really grateful for it.  I will also contribute further through the online questionnaire, as I think this is a unique and important opportunity - even if it doesn't make any significant impact! The ability to share my knowledge and experience, with the potential of influencing a positive path for a country I love and am proud to be from. Okay, now I'm getting sappy... I better end this!

-the Orange Canadian

*If trying to fill in things to update a blog with is this difficult, how do people maintain Twitter accounts? Clearly my life is not that exciting! This is also how I know I'm getting old... I just don't get Twitter. What's the point of it? I digress...
**Formerly CIDA and more recently DFATD. 
***That was until my wonderful brother reminded me that no one would be tuning in - turns out he was wrong!
****Which could arguably be seen as creating a lot of the mess we're in today...
*****In no way am I suggesting that many of those initiatives that have been thrown into the discussion are less important, but neither are they necessarily more so, either.
******This one subject could easily be the topic of an entire series of posts, or a full length paper or book, for that matter (and believe me - there are already plenty available!!). But I would encourage anyone reading this to have a think about that.
*******That means that the last time this sector was looked at in any detail, I was daydreaming about my pending marriage to Brian from the Backstreet Boys!