Sunday, 16 April 2017

Inappropriate Easter memories which may, or may not involve Arnold Schwarzenegger

Some of you may know that one of my favorite childhood films, is a delightful​ tale of an undercover cop seeking out the dangerous father of a student in kindergarten. You might know of this film, by it's poetic title: Kindergarten Cop, staring one of the most eloquently, artistic actors of that generation, Arnold Schwarzenegger*.

Image source: Wikipedia
This film includes many memorable moments and quotes, Suh as my personal favorite, "Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina," which is both educational and unsolicited in it's delivery/admission.


Another is when, Arnie's character develops a bit of a headache from​ trying to control the class full of kids he's been hired to "teach." One of the students suggests it might be a brain tumor, to which Arnold frustratedly replies that "IT IS NOT A TUMOR!"


Why am I telling you this? Well, four Easter's ago, my Mom and brother came to pick up my then-roommate and I for a weekend home. The week leading up to it had been stressful and I was looking forward to just relaxing. The problem was, upon their arrival my Mom confessed that the week before my grandma (not my now 90-year-old one) had been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer...which both upset me and made me really angry for the secrecy. Looking back now, I realize how silly that was, especially since I lost both my grandma and my mom a few weeks later

Anyway, we eventually packed into the car and began our drive back to the city. As we made it about two blocks up the road, my brother - trying to break the tension - attempted a little humour/Arnold impression. By impression, I mean , he yelled out, as Arnold's character had, "IT IS NOT A TUMOR!" to which I replied "BUT IT IS A TUMOR" and then proceeded to exit the moving car and ran back to my house crying. Not my greatest moment, but hilarious in hindsight, nonetheless!

Somehow, while Mike and I were sorting through things in his house, this memory surfaced, leading to a terrific fit of uncontrollable laughter, a great hug, and an admission of how terrible that decision of his was.

The best.
Photo credit: Michael Kennedy
Anyway, Mike, looking back it was a pretty stellar scene involving a then 28-year-old throwing an obnoxious temper tantrum. Comedic gold, I believe they say. But if I'm going to throw one, I'm glad it was at the cause of your attempt at being kind...even if it was in a really weird way. Live you. Thanks​.

-The Orange Canadian

*Whoa! Thanks word guessy thing! Who knew that typing in the name ‘Arnold’ would automatically prompt the next word to be Schwarzenegger?!

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